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i don't know how to read properly
Mar. 8th, 2019 08:06 pmand it kills me
i've always used reading as a way to escape, from approximately age [elementary school] onwards and it was only a way to get out of my own head.
when i was younger, i wanted to be a book editor or a book agent. agent? the person who reads the books and makes a decision on whether to take the book on or not. or a book reviewer. i wanted to read the books and make a decision on whether the novel was worthy enough to be published. obviously now as an adult i know that there's some more politics to it but the idea still remains true. i know, at least in certain genres, what is good and what isn't
the problem isn't me deciding that a book is good or not. it's me finding the words to articulate my feelings. some people can pinpoint what they like and don't like about a book! a show! a movie! they know that the shots are poorly constructed, the semicolons are irregularly used, i don't know any of that. i'm not sure?
i think it's because i don't ever bother to learn the foundations of a craft. i don't know what a good soundtrack sounds like except when i like it. i don't know when a book is good, except that i keep reading. I don't know if it's the story or the writing! often, it's both. i have to like both the story and the means by which it is told for me to enjoy it. but do i ever know what exactly it is about the piece of media i like that makes it so good to me? no. that's what makes it difficult for me to find something else that i like, and that makes my tendency to stick to media that i've already found and like even worse.
i don't like finding new music. i'm functionally about as far from a music lover as possible except for the fact that i'm partially classically trained in music, you know? same in books, movies, whatever. i know in my heart of hearts what i like. but i don't know /why/ i like it except "it's good" or "i like it".
it's hard to look at reviews on goodreads the most, i think. goodreads is literally runs on individuals rating a book and letting people know what their opinions are of the book. i don't know! i have no idea! i don't even know why i'm reading 1Q84 right now given that i'm very skeptical about the author's boobs breastily boobing down language every so often. despite the the weird language, do i think that the extremely meandering story is compelling enough to keep reading? clearly, there's something that has me almost at 90% of the book in three days beyond me being bored at work. i tried reading ted chiang's "story of your life and others" short story collection and i was almost instantly turned off. it has something more elusive than "the way the story treats its characters fucking sucks" since the same holds true for both ted chiang and haruki murakami.
i don't know! we'll never know maybe! i think that one of the most important things that people do is. is to create. if you don't study the mechanics of the art form you are analyzing, you need to create and learn from doing so. insert age old adage about "you don't truly know your subject until you teach". it's very easy to consume, to form a surface level evaluation about the likeability or un-likeability of a media piece in your opinion. it's much harder to articulate why and someday i hope that i can use my words to talk about these things. it's hard. i drank a lot of wine. this post brought to you by someone on my goodreads being very angry about semicolon usage and me being like wow i love when people know what they're talking about and have an opinion. 1Q84 kind of sucks but at the same time... it's good? it's good. but it sucks.
i don't know how dreamwidth works i'm sorry i'm kind of using this instead of tweeting a 89749832 tweet thread on twitter dot com
i've always used reading as a way to escape, from approximately age [elementary school] onwards and it was only a way to get out of my own head.
when i was younger, i wanted to be a book editor or a book agent. agent? the person who reads the books and makes a decision on whether to take the book on or not. or a book reviewer. i wanted to read the books and make a decision on whether the novel was worthy enough to be published. obviously now as an adult i know that there's some more politics to it but the idea still remains true. i know, at least in certain genres, what is good and what isn't
the problem isn't me deciding that a book is good or not. it's me finding the words to articulate my feelings. some people can pinpoint what they like and don't like about a book! a show! a movie! they know that the shots are poorly constructed, the semicolons are irregularly used, i don't know any of that. i'm not sure?
i think it's because i don't ever bother to learn the foundations of a craft. i don't know what a good soundtrack sounds like except when i like it. i don't know when a book is good, except that i keep reading. I don't know if it's the story or the writing! often, it's both. i have to like both the story and the means by which it is told for me to enjoy it. but do i ever know what exactly it is about the piece of media i like that makes it so good to me? no. that's what makes it difficult for me to find something else that i like, and that makes my tendency to stick to media that i've already found and like even worse.
i don't like finding new music. i'm functionally about as far from a music lover as possible except for the fact that i'm partially classically trained in music, you know? same in books, movies, whatever. i know in my heart of hearts what i like. but i don't know /why/ i like it except "it's good" or "i like it".
it's hard to look at reviews on goodreads the most, i think. goodreads is literally runs on individuals rating a book and letting people know what their opinions are of the book. i don't know! i have no idea! i don't even know why i'm reading 1Q84 right now given that i'm very skeptical about the author's boobs breastily boobing down language every so often. despite the the weird language, do i think that the extremely meandering story is compelling enough to keep reading? clearly, there's something that has me almost at 90% of the book in three days beyond me being bored at work. i tried reading ted chiang's "story of your life and others" short story collection and i was almost instantly turned off. it has something more elusive than "the way the story treats its characters fucking sucks" since the same holds true for both ted chiang and haruki murakami.
i don't know! we'll never know maybe! i think that one of the most important things that people do is. is to create. if you don't study the mechanics of the art form you are analyzing, you need to create and learn from doing so. insert age old adage about "you don't truly know your subject until you teach". it's very easy to consume, to form a surface level evaluation about the likeability or un-likeability of a media piece in your opinion. it's much harder to articulate why and someday i hope that i can use my words to talk about these things. it's hard. i drank a lot of wine. this post brought to you by someone on my goodreads being very angry about semicolon usage and me being like wow i love when people know what they're talking about and have an opinion. 1Q84 kind of sucks but at the same time... it's good? it's good. but it sucks.
i don't know how dreamwidth works i'm sorry i'm kind of using this instead of tweeting a 89749832 tweet thread on twitter dot com
